Second Life: BBC documentary about virtual adultery
by Eloise Pasteur 
Jan 30th 2008 at 6:30PM
Filed under: News items, Opinion, Second Life
Well, it's been said often enough before, but Second Life is all about sex. That, at least, would be the impression you would gain from the documentary that has just finished (2:30 SL Time) on BBC2. The programme dealt with 2 Second Life couples. One couple were both in a RL relationship with others, in the other couple she was married, he was single.The first couple were both unhappy, have separated from their former partners, married in Second Life, Real Life and are expecting a baby. The other couple, she was depressed (not necessarily about her marriage), he agitated for her to come and visit in RL. She wouldn't, he left her and so she went to visit. Whether or not it would have been different if she'd gone earlier, who will know. They're now separated in SL, not interested in RL, and she is working with her husband in therapy to make her marriage work.
In that sense, a fairly balanced programme I guess. And there are definitely people I know where this describes their SL relationships well. Then there are couples where they meet in SL as single people, get together in SL, get together in RL and get married. The whole gamut of human relationships (and some others too) are expressed, because the thing that is so often forgotten is that it's people doing this, bringing their human strengths and weaknesses to the world. An interesting programme though, even if it feels a bit like they needed the spice of adultery to sell it... shame really. Oh, I had a chuckle, if you've seen the programme and remember the lighthouse, it's one of my lighthouse lights that's all over the BBC.
I've tried, I can't find any links on BBC pages but it has shown up on iPlayer. Thanks Andy.
[EDIT: added link to iPlayer to allow you to watch it]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Coherent said on 10:58PM 1-30-2008
Second Life is not all about sex. Second Life is about social environments and socializing... which is often all about sex. Second Life is just another environment for people to meet and flirt and spend time together and sometimes to get their freak on, just like in RL.
Condemning Second Life for being about sex is about as productive as condemning LIFE for being about sex. Sorry, but it is, and no amount of tsk tsking is going to change it.
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Eloise Pasteur said on 10:59PM 1-30-2008
I'm sorry the irony in the opening sentence escaped you.
Coherent said on 12:59AM 1-31-2008
I wasn't criticizing your review of the article, I was criticizing the stereotype. I realize (with gratitude) that your blog entry here does not perpetuate it.
But I'm also saying that Second Life IS all about sex. Why? Because sex, lust, etc, is a dominant human motivational force.
I suppose my issue is that people somehow claim this is a bad thing instead of noticing that it is the very reason they are all here to complain about it.
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Eloise Pasteur said on 7:18AM 2-01-2008
Ah, I'm sorry, I misread your tone of voice.
Actually, the BBC overall do a pretty good job on reporting Second Life, they've reported on the economy, education and a whole raft of things. Wonderland, the series of which this programme was part, is looking, quite specifically at people who do things that might be considered odd. Even for SL residents breaking up RL marriages or pushing them right to the edge is a bit odd, for the rest of the world, doing it for a virtual image - sounds bizarre.
As is so often the case with the better stories there isn't really any judgement of the people involved, just "This is their story, decide for yourself." I suspect that's very important for some of the others, they've done the life of a schizophrenic for example, which would be rather crass to be judging in commentary.
Andy Enfield said on 5:42AM 1-31-2008
BBC iPlayer now seems to have it ...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/page/item/b008vrht.shtml
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SqueezeOne Pow said on 12:42PM 1-31-2008
Yeah that first comment was awesome.
SL is only about sex for those who have trouble scoring IRL and/or think it's more than a game platform.
I met my RL girlfriend (whom I live with IRL) in SL but we took it straight to RL as soon as we felt like we could be more than friends. However we both feel like our relationship started once she moved into my area and count it from that day instead of when we first met and hit it off.
I maintain that relationships based in a video game aren't healthy in the least. You can't underestimate the importance of the physical aspect of relationships or even socialising!
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Sansarya Caligari said on 2:00PM 1-31-2008
@SqueezeOne Pow: I don't think it's any harder to care for and commit to someone in a virtual world than it is in the real world, nor is honesty any harder. "In Real Life" is the misnomer because what's happening in the virtual world is affecting the person at the keyboard, whether in SL or WoW or any online environment--so you make a hypocrite of yourself by devaluing what's going on in SL as opposed to Real Life. Huge business deals happen in Second Life, so why can't real relationships happen? When someone comes out with "Relationship Bots," then maybe you'd have a point...
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Eloise Pasteur said on 7:27AM 2-01-2008
There is an age-old debate about relationships in and around Second Life. The issue isn't ever going to be resolved. There are people who can have satisfying purely virtual relationships, there are people who will never be satisfied with that, there are people that can enjoy both. There are people that enjoy phone sex and sex with rubber dolls IRL, and all the rest.
Despite what religious and moral leaders might try to tell you, human sexuality is a wild and incredibly varied place. Your way, if it makes you happy, is fine for you. Telling me "my way is wrong" - what gave you the right to judge? If it makes me happy, and is between consenting, competent adults, it is just as good for me.
Before the foaming illiterates leap on this comment - paedophiles harm others in my opinion, and so there is a right to judgement there. Children cannot make an informed choice about sex because they don't have the physical or emotional maturity to understand what's going on.
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robert weatherhead said on 11:33AM 2-01-2008
I have written a recent blog post about the virtual sex world and what constitutes adultery, feel free to visit and comment:
http://digitalmediaworld.co.uk/2008/01/23/virtual-adultery-does-it-count/
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Ruud Lathrop said on 5:41PM 2-06-2008
Here are some links to google video, if you are outside the UK :)
Part1: http://tinyurl.com/3ywset
Part2: http://tinyurl.com/2qjm33
Part3: http://tinyurl.com/2vtoc9
(From Ambling in Second Life)
(Sorry can only add 3 URLS :( )
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