Ask Massively: Breaking up is hard to do
Filed under: Opinion, Humor, Ask Massively
Turn down the lights, turn up the music, light up some candles, and get ready to get down because The Love Doctor is in.
Dear Massively,
I have a new love in my life! She's exciting, fun to be around, and willing to do things that nobody else has done to me before. (that, and she's not afraid to show me her... well.. you know.) I really want to commit, long term, to this person, but there's just one problem. I'm committed to a prior relationship. We've been together for nearly 4 years, but she's cold (darn near Blizzard-like, you might say) and distant, and doesn't really respond to my needs and desires anymore. She can still be fun to hang out with, but we are still together mostly because she's the "one I know best". I'm convinced that she's never really going to change, but that's OK, because I really like her. I'm just not nearly as in love with her as I used to be.
Can a player like me really have multiple relationships in this day and age? Or is it just not meant to be?
-- Don't hate the player...
For those of you who haven't figured out the allegory at work here, seek help. For the rest of you, feel free to read on after the jump where I... er... I mean The Love Doctor will give you the answer to all your problems.
Well, Player, The Love Doctor has some good news for you today. It is absolutely possible to be in multiple satisfying relationships at the same time if you have the time, patience, and of course, the money. Your "relationships" don't require constant attention, nor do they require that you be particularly faithful. As long as you have the money, they have the time.
Unfortunately, the allegory has to end here because it may be easy to say "As long as you pay the subscription fees, you can play as many MMORPGs as you want", but the reality is a little less obvious than that. The first consideration is, obviously, time. Do you have the time to play multiple MMOs? Many people have a hard enough time to play one while at the same time getting everything they want out of the experience. Some people, like myself, play as many as 5 MMOs actively, but with a job, wife, and family, I obviously don't spend the time in any of those games required to experience end-game content or do anything that might loosely be construed as "hardcore". I play a bit here and there, and when I find myself "grinding" or even, heaven forbid, bored with a game, I move on to something else. Eventually, I make my way around the circle and come back to the game. If not, then that is when I consider cancelling my subscription. For example, I didn't play Everquest for nearly 9 months when I finally decided to cancel my subscription.
The next consideration involves the relationships that you invariably form while playing your favorite MMO-du-jour. Over time, guild mates become close friends (if they aren't already when you join a guild). Those relationships can keep you playing a game long after the game itself has lost it's charm. In an ideal world, you could take your entire guild with you to a new game, but not everybody has the same taste in MMOs. You might decide that you absolutely love Age of Conan, but your best friend may decide that he can't justify buying that game because he has a small child at home and can't enjoy such a game with his young one. Perfectly legitimate, but no less uncomfortable.
Another factor at work is that splitting your time and attention among multiple games means that you will eventually fall behind your friends and guild mates who elect to stick with just one game. If you aren't prepared to engage in periodic "catching up" sessions, then playing multiple MMOs probably isn't for you. Could you imagine walking away from World of Warcraft at level 60 and coming back to the game as your old guild is knee deep in Karazhan or beyond? Don't walk away from a game for months at a time and expect to be able to pick up where you left off. Games, especially MMORPGs, change frequently, and you will need time to get reacclimated.
Ultimately, your relationships with your friends and guild mates will determine whether or not a new game will make you leave your old game behind. As much as I enjoy Age of Conan, I'll keep playing World of Warcraft because of my guild mates and friends. World of Warcraft itself has very little to offer me that I haven't already experienced. "What about raid content?" you ask? Believe it or not, the "loot treadmill" was never a big deal for me. Adding a new raid instance here and there isn't enough to keep me interested in a game over the long haul. When my friends move on to other games or lose interest in a game, I most likely will do the same. Conversely, if I don't have the same group of friends in a new game that I have in the old one, I'm equally likely to lose interest once I get an idea that I've experienced enough of what the game has to offer that I can walk away satisfied. That is the most crucial barrier that new games have to pass, and the most difficult to predict.
If you have a question that you don't mind me paraphrasing (read: butchering) into a witty, yet pithy, theme for Ask Massively, feel free to drop us a note via our tip line or via email at ask AT massively DOT com. As always, offers from Nigerian Ministers of Oil and Finance will be treated with the respect that they deserve. (which, in this case, involves a shredder and a trashcan)
Unfortunately, the allegory has to end here because it may be easy to say "As long as you pay the subscription fees, you can play as many MMORPGs as you want", but the reality is a little less obvious than that. The first consideration is, obviously, time. Do you have the time to play multiple MMOs? Many people have a hard enough time to play one while at the same time getting everything they want out of the experience. Some people, like myself, play as many as 5 MMOs actively, but with a job, wife, and family, I obviously don't spend the time in any of those games required to experience end-game content or do anything that might loosely be construed as "hardcore". I play a bit here and there, and when I find myself "grinding" or even, heaven forbid, bored with a game, I move on to something else. Eventually, I make my way around the circle and come back to the game. If not, then that is when I consider cancelling my subscription. For example, I didn't play Everquest for nearly 9 months when I finally decided to cancel my subscription.
The next consideration involves the relationships that you invariably form while playing your favorite MMO-du-jour. Over time, guild mates become close friends (if they aren't already when you join a guild). Those relationships can keep you playing a game long after the game itself has lost it's charm. In an ideal world, you could take your entire guild with you to a new game, but not everybody has the same taste in MMOs. You might decide that you absolutely love Age of Conan, but your best friend may decide that he can't justify buying that game because he has a small child at home and can't enjoy such a game with his young one. Perfectly legitimate, but no less uncomfortable.
Another factor at work is that splitting your time and attention among multiple games means that you will eventually fall behind your friends and guild mates who elect to stick with just one game. If you aren't prepared to engage in periodic "catching up" sessions, then playing multiple MMOs probably isn't for you. Could you imagine walking away from World of Warcraft at level 60 and coming back to the game as your old guild is knee deep in Karazhan or beyond? Don't walk away from a game for months at a time and expect to be able to pick up where you left off. Games, especially MMORPGs, change frequently, and you will need time to get reacclimated.
Ultimately, your relationships with your friends and guild mates will determine whether or not a new game will make you leave your old game behind. As much as I enjoy Age of Conan, I'll keep playing World of Warcraft because of my guild mates and friends. World of Warcraft itself has very little to offer me that I haven't already experienced. "What about raid content?" you ask? Believe it or not, the "loot treadmill" was never a big deal for me. Adding a new raid instance here and there isn't enough to keep me interested in a game over the long haul. When my friends move on to other games or lose interest in a game, I most likely will do the same. Conversely, if I don't have the same group of friends in a new game that I have in the old one, I'm equally likely to lose interest once I get an idea that I've experienced enough of what the game has to offer that I can walk away satisfied. That is the most crucial barrier that new games have to pass, and the most difficult to predict.
If you have a question that you don't mind me paraphrasing (read: butchering) into a witty, yet pithy, theme for Ask Massively, feel free to drop us a note via our tip line or via email at ask AT massively DOT com. As always, offers from Nigerian Ministers of Oil and Finance will be treated with the respect that they deserve. (which, in this case, involves a shredder and a trashcan)
_thumbnail.jpg "Aion Beta: Asmodian Ascension Quest")
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Mia said on 10:46PM 5-29-2008
"Don't walk away from a game for months at a time and expect to be able to pick up where you left off. Games, especially MMORPGs, change frequently, and you will need time to get reacclimated."
Play a healing class, and this problem is no longer a problem in WoW. The game is perpetually so starved for healers that you can take breaks whenever and for however long you wish, and you WILL find a raiding spot when you come back. In fact you will be recruited and have multiple choices.
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jeff.freeman said on 3:12AM 5-30-2008
"Don't walk away from a game for months at a time and expect to be able to pick up where you left off. Games, especially MMORPGs, change frequently, and you will need time to get reacclimated."
That's why taking a break just might rekindle the romance: it makes the old new again, it's a good thing.
And games aren't girls, so there's no foul in treating 'em like doormats. A game will always take you back and won't have been sad when you left anyway.
Treating people like that hurts them, and most won't put up with it more than four or five times, so that's why you don't want to do this unless you're very attractive or rich...
But a game? If it can't win you back someday then it never loved you anyway.
Guilds that last accommodate these sorts of affairs.
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Kevin Stallard said on 7:29AM 5-30-2008
I was just looking for an excuse to call myself "The Love Doctor". :)
You're right about one thing. Guilds that take into account the fact that players take extended breaks, whether it is to "rebuild wife faction" or to play a different game have a lot less stress and tend to last longer than guilds that don't.
Cue: That's why DKP systems suck. (reason #9148)
-K
Rational said on 1:54PM 5-30-2008
I'm currently playing AoC and loving it. That said, my WoW subscription is still running, and I occasionally have feelings of regret about my now-neglected shammy who is missing out on all the easy loot and progression in WoW.
However, I realize that I just have to deal with it if _I_ want to progress. I want a new experience, a new game where everything is not known, a game where you can't look up the answer to every quest. A game where there isn't any "Optimal Build" for specific tasks and if you're not using it then you just suck ass.
Most importantly, I want a game that makes fighting fun and new, where I feel _engaged_ in combat, pulled into the moment because I actually have to make the cool combat moves happen.
This is AoC's strong point - the combat system is fun and hard to master, but easy to learn.
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