The Aion server queue survival guide pt. 2

by Seraphina Brennan Sep 21st 2009 at 12:00PM

Read blog archives

If there's any blog we recommend, it's this one. We hear their writing staff is pretty awesome, especially that editor named Sera Brennan. Their base also belongs to them -- a feat unheard of in these times. Truly this blog's staff is made of gods amongst men. We bow to their glory.

Sleep

Zzzzzzzz..... what? Did you say something? Am I drooling again? Darn.

Make yourself a newspaper sailor hat

This may not take the entire two hours, but by the time you're done you're going to be the coolest person on your block -- no joke. Would we lie to you? We think not.

There are a few places on the Internet where you can find instructions on how to make these hats. As to where you can find newspaper, well, that's your problem. When in doubt, pilfer from your printer. That's pretty close by (usually) and then you don't even have to get out of your seat in order to waste time. So not only are you wasting time, you're also accomplishing being lazy and looking stylish. This option is seriously the trifecta of win.

"So not only are you wasting time, you're also accomplishing being lazy and looking stylish."

Take your invisible pet out for a walk

Walk down your sidewalk holding an invisible leash. When someone walks past you, pretend to be jerked around violently by your invisible pet and scream, "Down boy, down! Stop trying to bite the nice (man/woman)!" Proceed to apologize profusely for your pet's behavior before continuing to walk down the street. Repeat process until they let you into the server.

Attempt to solve the problem of time travel

This option will, most likely, take longer than two hours to complete. However, you will probably have to log into Aion more than once. Server queues will, most likely, also be increasing once the game launches officially. Therefore, choosing this option will keep you occupied for this current server queue wait time, and any future server queue wait times.

Attempt to win in EVE Online

This option is very similar to the option above, except harder. Much harder.

Watch .hack//SIGN, the anime series

We recommend this because when you're done, you'll realize that server queues are the least of your problems. You could be physically stuck inside of an MMORPG. Think about it. You could never, never, never, never, never leave trade chat. Ever. By the end of that, you'd probably be happy to be in a server queue. Then you would have silence.

Also, Subaru has wings. 'Nuff said for you Aion fans.

Make sock puppet daevas

Get a black sock, put wings and eyes on it, it's your Asmodian. Get a white sock, put wings and eyes on it, and that's your Elyos sock.

Put the Elyos sock on your right hand. Put the Asmodian sock on your left hand. Engage in hardcore PvP until one sock stops moving. Then, use the winning sock to call the hospital and tell them that one of your hands is broken.

And, lastly: Discuss how bored and angry you are with others on the Aion forums

These people understand your pain and they're there for you in your greatest moment of need. Plus you can naysay the game into oblivion and explain to everyone how Aion is going to fail based on their horrible release.

Remember, the game is going to explode in a great ball of fire due to this insulting release, but you'll gladly wait in line to play it anyway.

Now if you can all excuse me, my server queue is up and I can finally see the character select screen.

I get to play Aion now, wooo hooo! So long, suckers!

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

spamero said on 12:06PM 9-21-2009

The queue is a biatch... I hope they solve it .. I mean I can't imagine how big the queue will get if the rest of the world gonna try to log in after the pre-phase is over.

Vegatron said on 12:14PM 9-21-2009

The cue was honestly not that bad and it was only yesterday, I have yet to see a cue today. All things considered this was arguably one of the best launches I have ever seen. There were literally hundreds of people in my immediate vicinity in any given channel in any area and there was minimal latency and the game ran like a champ on my comp. I was mildly frustrated at the cue initially, being one of a number that grew every minute, but I got in within a reasonable amount of time.

I love this game :)

Mewmew said on 11:27PM 9-21-2009

The queue was not that bad?! Some servers you had to wait up to 7 HOURS to play! Seven!!! You say that's not that bad? Wow, now that's some serious patience you have got, but personally I don't have enough game time to wait 7 hours. I was lucky enough to *only* wait 5 hours to get on the first time, but then I did get to try out another server later after only 3...

The game has channels too once you get inside, so people saying it needs the huge queue so it won't crash because it doesn't use channels are wrong, you just don't personally see how to change them but it has them...

I realize that the fans who hate anything negative said (usually called "fanbois") will vote this comment down, because it tells the truth about something that was horrible and negative in Aion, but please... I don't dislike the game, but I thought waiting 5-7 hours was very horrible. Maybe you were one of the lucky people who logged on early and only had to wait a few hours, but don't try to tell me it wasn't that bad, it was horrible. On top of it all, servers were crashing anyway, so it didn't prevent crashes.

thecoke said on 12:16PM 9-21-2009

This head start weekend was a complete let-down. Server locks during preselection (could only roll elyos on lumiel), 2.5 hr server queues... I'm not even going to try to start playing until after the first month >:(

C-Rat said on 10:28AM 9-22-2009

Or you could write a pointless article for Massively.......

phobic99 said on 1:49PM 9-21-2009

I'll admit it. I laughed at this.

Macabre said on 2:03PM 9-21-2009

You, sir, win the internets!

Scuffles said on 12:25PM 9-21-2009

Wait isn't it subscription ~.~ I'm sorry but a queue on a subscription based game is unacceptable

feel free to vote me down but I can't accept the existence of a queue in a game people are paying for, especially if its for the people who shelled out extra for prelaunch

CindyL said on 12:28PM 9-21-2009

You don't shell out extra anything for pre-launch. Why do people keep saying this? It's completely misleading , actually no it is it's just a lie.

Lockgirl said on 12:31PM 9-21-2009

Because they need something to complain about, and they know they hyave no real reason to justify it so they make one up. I payed just as much for my game as the people buying it tomorrow will.

WrrLor said on 12:51PM 9-21-2009

I had queues all the time on WOW (everyone's game they rave about) and pretty much every other MMO I have ever played, especially during the first few days or weeks. Also, all of them were subscription games.

It just means that there are a ton of people playing the game, which is good, and that they are trying to force people to balance servers a bit at launch.

For the record, I waited 3 hours to get in-game last night. It sucked, but oh well. It will get better.

Scuffles said on 1:47PM 9-21-2009

My most heartfelt of apologies for wounding you so deeply but it was my impression you needed to pre order the special edition of the game to get into the prelaunch whatever they want to call it. Apparently since I don't really care about this game and as such I never felt like bothering to tipple check what I had been hearing, I was mistaken that there was an extra cost above and beyond the preorder.

regardless the prelaunch is not a stress test and my point still stands that people are paying for the game and a queue is unacceptable. They should have had all the server issues hammered out by now. If they can't handle the pre orders, god help them .....

Sorcefire said on 1:58PM 9-21-2009

To those who pooh-pooh on our beef with the pre-release frustration, let me remind you that one of the lures used to entice people to pre-order was being able to play the game before it was available via retail. This, along with the delay not getting the "bonus" items that were sold as part of the package, spells out a poorly thought-out and managed release.

I can understand the faction locks, it's the only way they can ensure something even approaching balance in this type of game, but the queues are just unrestrained fail. Do I feel cheated I spent $50 on the pre-order...yes, but only because now I have to wait along with everyone who didn't pre-order to play. Or call in sick and sit in front of my PC logging in every 5 minutes to try and jump the queue.

They shouldn't have sold pre-releases (or whatever term you want to use) that allowed people early access without knowing what their system could handle. Mind that they also only have Easter and Western timezones, so those of us in the middle third of the US have to play ping-pong with timezones.

alinos said on 5:21AM 9-22-2009

oh poor you in the middle of the USA shut up the rest of us have to go off your ridiculous times, you know when you guys have maintanence at one in the morning thats 7-8PM over here prime playing time

As for paying more for the collectors editions/pre launch you got other things and realistically what does playing 2 days earlier get you nothing absolutly nothing, you may hit max a little sooner irrelevant unless your just trying to speed through the game in a month and run back to WoW if so it woulda been much more logical to w8

the queues are just a part of life deal with it i used to sit and w8 for an hour min to get into WoW because the oceanic server my chars were on was constantly packed

it got to the point where i just left it with a char on to save time

DigitalZombie said on 12:26PM 9-21-2009

I didn't have a huge wait time myself. I selected a server, went from 1hr+ wait time and being #667, to suddenly being #60 w/a 15 min wait time, then it jumped down to #5 @ 2min wait time and I was in....pick a server and stick it out, it might be a lot shorter than you think.

I'm with Vegatron, lots of ppl playing, zero lag and lots of fun. :)

Lockgirl said on 12:28PM 9-21-2009

The server queue isnt that bad and the server caps are just temporary, they are trying to split up the population a little. Last night the people that got on pretty much got out of the first zone i i bet they raise the cap alot because instead of everyone in one place it will be spread up a bit.
The queue would have been worlds less if it had not been for private shop afk'ers. They are the real ones to blame, the queue moved so slow because so one was logging because they where scared of the queue. If all the people didnt afk shop they the queue probably would have speed up tremendously.

CindyL said on 12:30PM 9-21-2009

AFK shops are a problem, I really wish NCsoft would have had enough vision NOT to include them. ><

Hub said on 3:34PM 9-21-2009

But AFK shops make such good sense when you sell game time by the hour as I believe they do in China and Korea...

Sense to NCsoft anyway.

Still a good game when you can get in there :)