Filed under: Humor

Massively webcomic: Grinders - Gender Equality

by Lemuel Pew Jul 3rd 2009 at 1:00PM

Filed under: Super-hero, Comics, Humor, Grinders

City of Heroes continues to fulfill items on the long list of player requests, next up being the option to change your height and gender, the only to pieces to the costume editor left static. While I think it's neat you'll finally be able to make that Mr. Hyde knockoff you've been waiting to build, Grinders today reflects other possible gameplay options.

On a side note, I wonder what this'll do to the character gender debate. Now in CoH, your character doesn't need to have a gender, just a costume slot does. You could make a character that is in fact five distinct characters. Food for thought.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will also probably involve boobies in some form or another. Or just put in the comic.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

Lemuel Pew is a webcomic artist and MMO player with the attention span of a guppy. Between sketching gamers in cartoon form and making glib social commentary, he draws an online comic called Blank It. Feel free to watch his Twitter at your own risk.

The Daily Grind: What are your summer plans?

by Brooke Pilley Jun 29th 2009 at 8:00AM

Filed under: The Daily Grind, Humor

The summer solstice occurred just over a week ago and it seems like Mother Nature finally stopped slacking and caught up with the season. This has led to a number of us talking about sweltering heatwaves and chaotic storms around the Massively office lately. They seem to be having a positive effect, which rings especially true for this northerner who is usually forced to wear a toque for over half the year.

It also got us wondering: What are your summer plans? Do they involve beaches, books, or barbecues? What about baseball, birdwatching, and beer? (PS. Never mix those last two - trust me.) There sure are a lot of summer-y things that start with the letter B. Biking, bocce, baking on a backyard blanket... Okay, that was a stretch.

One activity that doesn't start with a B is playing MMOs. What MMOs do you have on tap this summer? Will you pillage Land of the Dead in Warhammer Online? Participate in the Aion beta events? Tickle yourself pink in Free Realms? Obsess over every Star Wars: The Old Republic tidbit? Turn enemies into space junk (and then salvage that space junk) in EVE Online? Enquiring minds want to know!

Massively webcomic: The Haves and the Have-Nots

by Lemuel Pew Jun 27th 2009 at 12:00PM

Filed under: Free-to-play, Comics, Humor, Grinders

I suppose I should legally declare that Grinders is not paid by Sony to do comics about Free Realms, but on a completely unrelated note, I do so enjoy flossing my teeth with hundred dollar bills.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will be put under a microscope and checked for the latest strain of Murloc Flu. Or just put in the comic.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

Lemuel Pew is a webcomic artist and MMO player with the attention span of a guppy. Between sketching gamers in cartoon form and sporting a fancy tophat and monocle, he draws an online comic called Blank It. Feel free to watch his Twitter at your own risk.

Massively webcomic: Grinders - Urban Adventurers

by Lemuel Pew Jun 19th 2009 at 6:00PM

Filed under: Comics, Humor, Grinders

Welly welly well. It's about time the MMO scene started seeing some real deviation. Grinders is more than proud to get revved up for Cities XL, and try out some more playstyles than just leather armor and pest control. Though, it'll be really interesting to see what similarities do come out of the game. It'll also make us rethink what an MMO is, because if 'lots of players' and 'online' are the only two sticking points, I don't think that it'll stay a genre of its own for much longer.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will he harangued for showing up the rest of them and upsetting the curve, but will be probably worked into the comic somehow.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

Lemuel Pew is a webcomic artist and MMO player with the attention span of a guppy. Between sketching gamers in cartoon form and taking naps at his desk with his nose on the H key, he draws an online comic called Blank It. Feel free to watch his Twitter at your own risk.

Massively webcomic: Grinders - Hot or Not

by Lemuel Pew Jun 12th 2009 at 4:00PM

Filed under: Comics, Humor, Grinders

Sticking to the theme of horrible MMO ideas that shouldn't, but are, the Grinders thinktank has aimed its sights at the new Seventeen MMO. Though, I bet calling it an MMO is really starting to abuse the term, much like Virtual Laguna Beach and Habbo Hotel have caused us to do in the past. Still, I expect there will be a few fun-loving fuggos who will want to mix up the bubbly suburban content. You've been warned.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will he harangued for showing up the rest of them and upsetting the curve, but will be probably worked into the comic somehow.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

MMO racism: the No Elves! movement picks up steam

by Brooke Pilley Jun 11th 2009 at 11:00AM

Filed under: Sci-fi, Video, News items, MMOFPS, Global Agenda, Humor

To some it is unadulterated racial hatred; to others, pure marketing genius. Ok, perhaps I'm sensationalizing just a bit, but since its release, the No Elves! trailer for Global Agenda has generated quite a buzz. A recent newsletter announcement by Hi-Rez Studios details how they plan to capitalize on it.

Those willing to show their support for the No Elves! movement can now buy a few different t-shirts from the Hi-Rez store, join a Facebook group, and download a media kit full of high quality videos and images. After launching the campaign initially, it appears Hi-Rez wants the community to take it over and spread the word. I believe the term is "viral marketing?"

According to one of the developers, Hi-Rez first used the "No Elves" tagline on a staff recruitment banner 3 or 4 years ago. Another forum-goer pointed out a "No More Elves" promotion developed by Reakktor for Neocron 2 in 2005. It seems there is an abundance of pointy-eared hate because a number of MMO bloggers formed a No Elf Club recently as well. Come on folks, "can we all get along?"

YS Online wants you to bomb botters

by Colin Brennan Jun 9th 2009 at 7:00PM

Filed under: Betas, Fantasy, Culture, Game mechanics, New titles, Free-to-play, Humor

Botters can be a hassle. Trust us, we know. We too have felt the sting of automatic programming when waiting for that quest monster to spawn, or for that rare monster pops up on the battlefield. Sure, we can report the problem to Game Masters for them to fix, but that's not even a full guarantee that the problem will be taken care of. Plus, don't you always love the satisifaction of dealing with botters yourself?

Now you can take matters into your own hands in YS Online, the currently Europe only MMO based off of the popular YS series of RPGs. YS offers all players the ability to carry items known as Auto Bombs, which are available from all vendors for 1 copper a piece. All one has to do is simply take the bomb and throw it at the supposed botter. Once it hits, they'll have a small window to complete a simple captcha -- a word shown in picture format that they have to type into the box below the picture. If they fail to complete the captcha, they'll gain a debuff where they can't do anything for 30 minutes. Painful, no?

Global Agenda trailer puts pansy elves in their place

by William Dobson Jun 8th 2009 at 10:30AM

Filed under: Sci-fi, Video, New titles, Global Agenda, Humor

We just had a look at some of the gameplay from Global Agenda at E3, but the latest trailer from Hi-Rez studios is a bit different. It's a more humorous look at the sort of characters that will be found in-game, or rather, the sorts that won't. Walking around in a flowing robe and attempting to fling fireballs won't get you very far in Global Agenda, as the trailer points out so clearly -- a Recon character makes short work of an elf trying to fill his cast-bar to attack, proving that technology is the key to victory in this particular world, and that other elves hoping to join the game's cast need not apply. Hit the jump to check out the full trailer.

Massively webcomic: Grinders - MMOs for Anything These Days

by Lemuel Pew Jun 5th 2009 at 5:00PM

Filed under: Comics, Humor, Grinders

I like to think of Grinders as having the potential to be a window into the absurd, which is exactly what category a Tom and Jerry Massive Multiplayer game would fall under. As it is with these things, truth is stranger than fiction. Still, if I had my hands on the art direction I'd gritty it up a bit.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will probably not involve Tom or Jerry in any way, and will be worked into the comic somehow. Magic, I bet.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

Lemuel Pew is a webcomic artist and MMO player with the attention span of a guppy. Between sketching gamers in cartoon form and making too many alts in City of Heroes, he draws an online comic called Blank It. Feel free to watch his Twitter at your own risk.

MapleStory joins the wild world of Twitter

by Colin Brennan May 29th 2009 at 4:30PM

Filed under: At a glance, Fantasy, MapleStory, Culture, MMO industry, Free-to-play, Casual, Humor

Twitter needs to be classified as an addictive drug, we think. We seem to be using it, and we just can't stop ourselves anymore. We keep telling ourselves that it's just a simple RSS feed where we're limited in what we can type out to others, yet we keep going back to that internet street corner, begging for just one more tweet...

But hey, we've gotten company recently! MapleStory has created their own Twitter page as well, joining the rest of the world in answering the question "what are you doing right now?" If you're interested in the 2D MMO, just drop by their page and sign up for their tweets to stay atop of in-game news. Right now, they seem to be flaunting their recent gold farmer bannings (remind us to never get on MapleStory's badside), as well as talking to some of their fans regarding their MapleStory achievements.

Now, if you could excuse us, we feel we need to tweet again.

Massively webcomic: Grinders - Didn't Make the Cut

by Lemuel Pew May 29th 2009 at 1:00PM

Filed under: Fantasy, Free-to-play, Comics, Humor, Grinders

Often times Grinders is a story of something that has actually happened, but today we dabble in the wonderland of the Free Realms that could have been. Honestly I think taxidermy would work great with the Pet Trainer job. Keep little Bella around forever. Yeah, I'm sure you named your pet cat Bella.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will be put under a microscope and checked for the latest strain of Murloc Flu. Or just put in the comic.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

One Shots: Obvious statement is obvious

by Krystalle Voecks May 25th 2009 at 2:00PM

Filed under: Sci-fi, Screenshots, EVE Online, One Shots, Humor

We love easter eggs and other strange little things from various video games. Today's One Shots showing one off from EVE Online is pretty fun - and thankfully more OK with the GMs than some of the can art we've had sent in to us. This particular shot was sent in to us by Nicholas J, who also sent the following note: [Here's] a little easter egg that you can occasionally find in a few places. Of course, if you want to see the obvious statement, you'll have to click on through to the full-size image to see it; it just doesn't work when the image is small.

If you've found something strange, unusual, or just easter-eggish on your recent journeys in MMOdom, we'd love to see a screenshot. Just email it to us here at oneshots AT massively DOT com along with your name, the game it's from, and a brief description. We'll post it up and give you the nod for pointing it out.

Gallery: One Shots

Massively webcomic: Grinders - Spies in the Spyhouse

by Lemuel Pew May 22nd 2009 at 1:30PM

Filed under: Comics, Humor, Grinders

So, this week's Grinders is clearly not an MMO, which would be a gross infraction if it wasn't such a raw truth; whenever Team Fortress 2 undergoes a class update, the online gaming community all shifts to one side of the boat, dropping their MMOs to grind the new unlockable weapons. This of course means a certain shift in the team populations. Valve's trying something different this time with two class updates instead of just one, but see if that'll really help. Really.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will be tenderized into a square patty and grilled on the barbie for our next luau. Or just put in the comic.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

Massively webcomic: Grinders - The Best of the Best

by Lemuel Pew May 15th 2009 at 12:30PM

Filed under: Fantasy, Free-to-play, Comics, Humor, Grinders

As depicted in today's Grinders, there's a lot of variety to the jobs in Free Realms. However, not all of them are best suited for combat, as Morgan and Wendy experienced. Still, I think the idea of a kart racing class is pretty darned cool.

Have a funny story of your own? Submit your tale complete with a screenshot to lemuel@massively.com. The best will be tenderized into a square patty and grilled on the barbie for our next luau. Or just put in the comic.

Gallery: Grinders Webcomic

The cake of WAGGGGHHHH!!!

by Colin Brennan May 10th 2009 at 8:00PM

Filed under: Fantasy, Culture, Events, real-world, MMO industry, Warhammer Online, News items, Humor, Massively Event Coverage

This last Saturday was Games Workshop's Games Day celebration, and Massively.com was on site to get you the latest Warhammer Online coverage straight from Mythic Entertainment. Want to know more about Ultima Online's Stygian Abyss expansion? Curious about Land of the Dead? Interested as to the future direction of Warhammer Online? Do your favorite devs play on order or destruction? Find all of these answers and more in our full coverage of the event starting tomorrow, including our hands-on impressions of the new mega-dungeon, Land of the Dead!

In the meantime, if you're hungry for coverage, let your eyes feast on this awesome squig herder cake, made by Charm City Cakes. You know, Chef Duff from Food Network's Ace of Cakes? Yeah, he would be the guy who cooked this bad boy up. The cake lasted for the entire show, but we think there might have been some squig pieces shared amongst staff once the event's doors closed.

Excited? Come back tomorrow and check out all of the tasty coverage. The squig is only the icing on the cake! Ok, we're done with the bad puns now, we promise.

Massively Features

Featured Games

Events Calendar

Name	Date
Fallen Earth Launch	Q2 2009
Global Agenda Closed Beta	July 2009
CrimeCraft Launch	Aug 25 2009
Champions Online Launch	Sep 1 2009
Cities XL EU Launch	Sep 3 2009
Aion Launch	Sep 22 2009
Earth Eternal Open Beta	Q3 2009