Massively^™

With most great movies, the videogame version will fall drastically short of expectations. Here we are, looking the official retail launch of Age of Conan right in the eyes, and we have to ask ourselves: will Age of Conan deliver on the promise of this 80's cinema staple? From everything we've seen AoC delivers in regards to action, scenic beauty, gameplay and excitement. If you have the computer muscle, this will be a gaming tour-de-force. Just the same, the Arnold Schwarzenegger Conan movies are writ large in your mind. You may still have lingering questions.

Today, we'll put those questions to rest. We've compared five aspects of the game versus the film classics. Not only that, but we've kept score. Plus, as an added treat, each argument in the movie's defense includes a wonderfully cheesy video clip to get that full effect. Read on to see who wins: the Austrian all-star or the Norwegian newcomer?

Stephen King is "the man." He's one of my favorite authors and a very big reason why I'm a writer today. I've followed the ebb and flow of his career, from his meteoric rise (and eventually perpetual stay) on the New York Time's Best Seller list to the the mostly abysmal adaptations of his books to film. Anytime he talks, I tend to listen.

So you can imagine my intrigue when King, a man who has never tested the virtual waters (F13 doesn't count) with his magnificent worlds - how great would an MMO set in the world of The Dark Tower be? - voiced his opinion about the proposed Massachusetts bill to ban the sale of "violent" video games to anyone under the age of 18.

Ten Ton Hammer is reporting this morning that Funcom and Eidos have announced that a new Age of Conan trailer will appear on Gamespot.com Thursday. According to the announcement on the AoC official forums, the video will launch at 1700 California time ( -8 GMT). Since I'm bad with that whole international time thing, the TTH guys have done my work for me... apparently "1700 California time" translates to roughly 12pm EST. If it's as bloody as the above pic - wow!

We'll let you know when the ball drops so you can make a beeline for Gamespot.

The fine folks at Funcom have posted a brief update about the beta for their upcoming head-loppalooza, Age of Conan.

The biggest news: female avatars are now available! Gotta love this line from Funcom: " ... while there are some bugs to work out -- people always seem surprised to find out a beta is actually used for finding and squashing bugs! -- they are playable..." They also gave a count of how many patches have dropped in the last few weeks. January had three, while there's been two so far this month. Wednesday's update dropped over 2.5 gigs of data! Lastly, PVP and the PVP servers will - for the first time - be opening soon.

So if you're one of the lucky ones in beta - rejoice! But whatever you do... don't cry. As Tom Hanks might say: There's no crying in head lopping!

MMORPG.com just launched a new developer blog for Age of Conan. Writing about the ins and outs of this mature hack-n-slash is Jason Stone (aka "Athelan"), one of the game's designers. In his first entry (posted yesterday), Jason introduces himself by explaining his roll in AoC and what his gaming background is.

His goals for the blog are to "highlight the goings on in the Age of Conan community, respond to community questions and feedback, give you sneak peeks into my own Beta experiences..." For now Jason will be the only contributor, but he hopes that other members of the development team will chime in from time to time.

Almost all of these dev blog's are worth the time to read because they really give a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the game's design and progress. Us old timer's never had anything like this back in the day, so it's a real treat to get what amounts to first hand information straight from the "horse's mouth" - so to speak.

Barbarians. Love 'em or hate 'em, but it's likely going to be the most played class when the gates finally open to Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures. This adult themed, head-lopping affair may be an MMORPG where you can play several archetypes, but without Barbarians there would be no Conan. Thankfully, Funcom knows this and are making sure it lives up to what every fan of Howard's legendary literary lout would expect. TenTonHammer's Cody "Micajah" Bye sat down with Evan Michaels (Funcom System Designer) and talked about this classic class.

While most people think of Barbarians as savage and brutal, Funcom has labeled them under the "Rogue" archetype in AoC. According to Michaels, Barbarians are by nature roguish in that they are very individualistic, much like Rogues. They are unequaled melee fighters. When asked how they'll be balanced compared to other "tank" characters Michaels stated that Soldiers will specialize in wearing down their opponent and last longer in a prolonged battle, while a Barbarian would rely on pure aggression to dispatch their foes. Another interesting tidbit that Michaels revealed was that Barbarians will be more effective when the odds are stacked against them. Barbarians have several different abilities that can hit multiple targets, so they become more effective when surrounded.

Yep, look for Eli the Barbarian when AoC lets loose the dogs of war in late March. And be sure to read the entire interview if you plan on partaking in your own Hyborian Adventure.