Massively^™

The Bling Gnome is ready to scarf down items, poop-out gold and help you fight crime in the hood. Say what? There's no other reason to purchase the retail edition of Dungeon Runner's, a cardboard box stuffed with the digital delights. Well okay, we forgot the main reason. Dungeon Runners is the most raucous MMOG ever that is filled with hilarious jokes, witty banter, and pop culture references that will bust any gut with a hearty guffaw.

The retail version also comes packed with a barf o'rama bounty inside by including a six month membership to the game that gives players loads of chunky perks over the free-to-play counterparts. The difference is worth every penny. More, more, more! Members earn more experience; plunder more gold; horde more items; are luckier at finding rare items; and the annoying adverts will disappear and put more foam peanuts on the developer's dinner tables.

The Bling Gnome will save your ass. Not THAT kind of ass! The kind of ass you ride on -- it won't have to carry you back to town. So you'll be saving it from all that hard work of carting your loot back and forth. Because, really, in he greater scheme of things, who wants trash loot anyway? Players who buy the retail box version of soon-to-be launched satirical fantasy action-adventure MMO, Dungeon Runners, will wonder how they ever did without their very own Bling Gnome to eat up all the trash loot and excrete creamy, golden goodness. After viewing this bling-filled teaser for the Diminutive Master of Bling, you'll wonder how you ever lived life without it. Real life. Heck, there's no need to even go to the store for one, when we're giving them away for free! How's that again? Bling Gnomes for FREE? Watch the clip and sign the slip. Word.

We know you want bling! We've seen you skulking in the shadows, MMO players. Here at Massively.com, we're here to help you. So we have a dozen Bling Gnomes ready and raring to go - all set to pick up gold, scarf magic items and poop out powerful weapons at your command. They're contained within the twelve copies of the Dungeon Runners box (each worth about $20) we have on hand, and will now give away to you. Check out the game's page at Amazon for the full detail on what a box nets you.

Entering to win these things is darn easy. By now I bet you even know the drill. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post telling us why *you* want a Bling Gnome before 7:00 AM EST Thursday, June 19th. You can only enter once per person, and when the contest closes we'll ship out these diminutive firecrackers to twelve randomly selected participants. To win you must be age 18 or up and a resident of the US or Canada (excluding Quebec). For full eligibility details, we suggest you read our official rules. Good luck!

Will all the hubbub these days about digital delivery and early access programs, game-makers are really starting to deemphasize the importance of boxed products occupying shelves in a retailer environment. Still, you have to imagine that it's something of a thrill for a smaller developer to see their free product occupy the same shelf as the big boys, and look splendid doing it.

That's why we were happy to see the boys behind Dungeon Runners were finally releasing a retail version of their eminently amusing free MMO just a year after its release. The boxed version comes with 6 months of membership access for the discounted rate of $19.99, the exclusive and oft-talked about Bling Gnome, and an offer to try out Exteel, if you're so inclined. Not a bad deal, all told, and hopefully it'll expand their audience.

The folks at NCsoft have dropped another sloppy chunk of content onto the table, with the release of Chunk 3 for Dungeon Runners. We've pretty exhaustively talked about the features in this newest addition - the bling gnome, the quest xp buff, the pvp tweaks. NCsoft wants to make sure that you know about their new membership privileges, and has an entire piece rounding out the details of the plan.

Previously, your $4.99 netted you a nicer server, more potions, a bigger bank, and access to some of the best high end weapons. And, of course, no ads. Now pay customers will actually be leveling faster than their non-paying brethren. They'll get more gold too, and discounts on items to boot. Your dollar goes a lot further after Chunk 3, as DR continues to redefine what the free-to-play concept means.

Well, it's certainly no surprise that NCsoft is pushing the membership program for Dungeon Runners, and this newest build shows this all too well. But to be honest, we think it's about time. Dungeon Runners has been in operation for almost a year now (which will be celebrated next week) and it has been available as a free download with no subscription fees for this entire time. Their optional upgraded membership program has many perks, but has never been necessary.

Well, now with the upcoming retail box release (and Bling Gnome!), NCsoft is providing even more incentive to switch to a membership account. Check out their official patch notes for Build 121 to see some of these membership perks, and the loads of other improvements they've made to the game, including our all-time favorite ode to Stand By Me: the Barf-O-Rama skill!

In the latest update to their blog, the Dungeon Runners team has thrown up some new details that we can expect to see in the next Heave, the twisted DR version of a patch. One of the more interesting details (and honestly, when isn't there an interesting detail in a Dungeon Runners update?) to emerge was the announcement of a so-called "Bling Gnome." Having been rumored to be in the works since late last year, the Bling Gnome is a passive ability that grants you a little gnome buddy who runs around and picks up all your gold for you. Unfortunately, he is selective about his company, and will only hang out with people who pick up the retail box, which will be available some time early this summer.

Some of the other changes they're throwing in to get you to pick up the paid version of the game are a decrease in free player experience gains, an increase in the gold found by paid players, a decrease in the amount of gold necessary to buy new items for paid players, and a decrease in the chances that a free player will find rare drops. They seem to be striking the right balance between giving players incentives to pay, and not creating some sort of byzantine player hierarchy, a la Hellgate: London.